“Love is friendship that has caught fire”
~ Ann Landers
If I had confirmation that this guy liked me, I would have told him what I felt. He could have then been my first boyfriend.
I am actually very nervous writing about him, and have thought long and hard about it. It will be difficult to say enough without disclosing who he is. We have mutual friends.
My eldest sister asked me if I was sure he didn’t like me. He never said that he did.
We spent a lot of time together over the span of 2 years, so I was sure if he did, he would have said something. She asked how he was with me and this is what I remembered:
A few years older, we met before I turned 20. He was attractive in looks, manners and just as a whole person. Needless to say, he was popular.
We moved in similar circles and for a year or so, we were close. There was another person close to both of us. For that same period of time, we were often together. Us three.
He had a temper. But then, lions roar.
I was never afraid of him being angry except the one time when he got so mad at the two of us, he stormed out. I didn’t want to lose the friendship and so I tried to explain. He calmed down.
What actually happened was, I was in a way tired of being the third wheel – I felt like I was. And she was tired about something else. I don’t really remember. We decided to go out of town together, and excluded him from our girl-outing. When we got back, she wanted to give him the silent treatment. He got mad when he found out about us going away, the silent treatment didn’t help.
It was silly. We were silly. We were 19.
We used to hang out together. The three of us. Sometimes all we did was chat. Right into the late hours of night. Sometimes, we would take part in some social activity and then we would go back to his place. Most of the time we would then go back to our respective homes, but there was once we stayed over.
She made me feel like I should not have been there, that she wanted to be alone with him. By the time I realised my hunch was correct, it was too late to offer to leave. So I stayed. I really wished I had left.
There were times though she was not around. I liked those times. I don’t know if he shared the preference.