“Elizabeth could not help observing… how frequently Mr. Darcy’s eyes were fixed on her. She hardly knew how to suppose that she could be an object of admiration to so great a man”
~ Jane Austen (Pride & Prejudice)
So. How exactly did I get it into my head that Mr SG might be harbouring unspoken feelings for me?
After that gathering, he returned to that faraway foreign country where maintaining communication was difficult. He continued with the emails and where it would save time and effort, he replied through the group.
Without disclosing the content of the email, I found he was opening up, but then that all might be just my perception.
We met again on a few more occasions. Mostly before he completed his mission, twice after.
On one of those occasions when we did meet, I had my eldest sister with me. The rest of the members spent time with him in another section of the room, separated by a glass wall. I was told that he had asked for me to join the group but one of the members wasn’t too keen. She had asked why I should be there when I was not even from their country. Catty.
Once they were done with the meeting, he rejoined us. Photo opportunity. We took one of him with my sister and then it was my turn. We stood naturally next to each other and our arms automatically went behind the other person. I was not sure where to place my hand and felt around for the back of the chair that was just behind him. I could sense his hand doing the same with the chair behind me. It was comfortably awkward. I liked that picture.
As he was about to adjourn to another group, where his friends and brother were, I called for our transport and left with my sister.
From different individuals, I have heard that he said positive things about me. It was to the point that some jealousy arose from the other members. I didn’t really care about most of them. I was older than they were and wasn’t in the running for “games”. He and I are of the same age, and perhaps that was why we got along. One girl introduced me to her mother and friends as Mr SG’s “favourite”. When I asked her why she had said that, she mentioned being told so by another person and also because of the way he spoke of me.
I called him over the phone once, he was on a vacation abroad. It was new year’s eve. Had he been home, I wanted to invite him to join my family for our celebrations.
On another occasion that we met, after his mission was completed, he asked that I stood next to him as he looked at the gift I gave him. He asked for my number.
I had his number but he never saved mine, until that night.
It was another formal event. The atmosphere was a complete opposite compared to the first one I regretted attending.
While he signed autographs and took photos, I sat on the sofa right by him. We were not next to each other but we were close enough that I could see him and he could see me. He turned every now and then to look. Maybe that was just coincidence.
When almost all the guests had got their autographs and photo opportunity, I went to get mine (I have many but it was part of the event, so I was happy to have more). When I went to stoop down next to him (he was seated and though he was tall, I didn’t want to appear like I was towering over him), he stopped me and said he was going to stand.
We stood next to each other yet again. This time our arms went around each other spontaneously. The photo was not taken immediately. He was talking to someone on the other side, still holding on to me. When we were ready, my friend took the photo for us. She took 2 shots.
He then sat down and asked me to whom I wanted the autographs addressed. (He knew I had many already :p). I gave him a couple of names and then he asked, “who else?”. It seemed to me that he did that to keep me there. When he asked for more names, I asked if he would mind if I called my sister, to see if she had any requests. He agreed. I even let them talk to each other on the phone. All that time, I stood next to him.
We eventually stopped as other people were returning for more pictures with him. A group wanted a photo with him altogether and their photographer asked if he would stand. He said, “No.”. I teased and said, “Mr SG would only stand for me, right Mr SG?” and without hesitation he replied, “Yes.”